I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
