Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
