You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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