you guys were way drunker than both of me
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
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He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
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When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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