So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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