You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
