I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
