Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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