just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
