Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
why do cheetos always look like penises
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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