p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
