O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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