BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
