i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize