idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
