party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
