THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
