Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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