TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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