At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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