I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize