I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
