Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize