): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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