11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize