high people should be assigned attendants
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize