Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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