Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
