I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
