And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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