Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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