speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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