You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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