just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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