I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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