I love black thongs
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
