I hate your face
Porn is love you can see.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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