the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
