we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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