Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
