Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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