This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Congratulations! We have a period
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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