She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
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It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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