Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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