he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
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Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You need a sexual gate keeper
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My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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