Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
