I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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