): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
