i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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