he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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