if only i could text you this smell
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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