Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize