oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
