That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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