Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"

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  (407): I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt" http://tfl.nu/48bw
  Replies (14) Good night (3313) Bad night (952)
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  (718): View more from New York

  no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.

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  (718): no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours. http://tfl.nu/ektb
  Replies (3) Good night (4134) Bad night (1085)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.

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  (502): All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets. http://tfl.nu/t3ff
  Replies (10) Good night (3810) Bad night (759)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.

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  (414): the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details. http://tfl.nu/93dt
  Replies (26) Good night (6472) Bad night (683)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.

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  (713): counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet. http://tfl.nu/nzku
  Replies (16) Good night (4946) Bad night (1066)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there

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  (585): Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there http://tfl.nu/9lof
  Replies (12) Good night (5234) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.

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  (253): I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight. http://tfl.nu/4pnr
  Replies (12) Good night (3397) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world

  (1-631): View more from New York

  It's like a tribute to you being a slut

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  (631): On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world (1-631): It's like a tribute to you being a slut http://tfl.nu/t5j2
  Replies (4) Good night (1865) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.

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  (+44): Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life. http://tfl.nu/4vxb
  Replies (14) Good night (1894) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!

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  (817): She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!! http://tfl.nu/esz2
  Replies (4) Good night (1396) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.

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  (309): They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault. http://tfl.nu/0avq
  Replies (1) Good night (754) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like

  (630): View more from Illinois

  we should definitely drink gin again. soon.

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  (773): I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like (630): we should definitely drink gin again. soon. http://tfl.nu/20ks
  Replies (0) Good night (472) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.

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  (703): there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners. http://tfl.nu/h528
  Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?

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  (603): What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway? http://tfl.nu/5x4t
  Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....

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  (248): I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him.... http://tfl.nu/0ivu
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (436)

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