C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
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It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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