Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys

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  (210): Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys http://tfl.nu/9bus
  Replies (7) Good night (614) Bad night (1053)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night

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  (610): i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/1i94
  Replies (8) Good night (609) Bad night (3262)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.

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  (214): ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it. http://tfl.nu/o4vn
  Replies (7) Good night (3692) Bad night (655)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.

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  (812): And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me. http://tfl.nu/o9ei
  Replies (13) Good night (4063) Bad night (1338)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.

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  (715): she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner. http://tfl.nu/8r7t
  Replies (14) Good night (1152) Bad night (2788)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?

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  (217): If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping? http://tfl.nu/vdup
  Replies (5) Good night (2089) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes

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  (812): Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes http://tfl.nu/54ik
  Replies (8) Good night (673) Bad night (1997)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.

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  (703): When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond. http://tfl.nu/i1tf
  Replies (12) Good night (2627) Bad night (858)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.

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  (224): Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds. http://tfl.nu/o3kx
  Replies (7) Good night (1676) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.

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  (254): Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor. http://tfl.nu/w3ms
  Replies (8) Good night (1726) Bad night (502)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...

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  (214): Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable... http://tfl.nu/uugd
  Replies (3) Good night (1265) Bad night (830)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?

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  (256): It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me? http://tfl.nu/7mmq
  Replies (7) Good night (1275) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.

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  (630): It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again. http://tfl.nu/c0k2
  Replies (1) Good night (729) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once

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  (631): Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once http://tfl.nu/b35p
  Replies (8) Good night (679) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling

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  (215): All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling http://tfl.nu/arff
  Replies (1) Good night (263) Bad night (497)

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