Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here