Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way

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(215): Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger" (215): i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way http://tfl.nu/i786

Replies (16) Good night (2849) Bad night (854)
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(443): View more from Maryland

That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.

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(443): That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face. http://tfl.nu/yqg0

Replies (11) Good night (673) Bad night (2459)
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(503): View more from Oregon

My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers

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(503): My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers http://tfl.nu/ouvx

Replies (25) Good night (4377) Bad night (1667)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..

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(410): I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle.. http://tfl.nu/lwyr

Replies (15) Good night (8465) Bad night (1103)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her

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(570): you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her http://tfl.nu/jaz5

Replies (39) Good night (8600) Bad night (1420)
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(480): View more from Arizona

She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...

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(480): She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight... http://tfl.nu/8zew

Replies (1) Good night (3322) Bad night (743)
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(561): View more from Florida

A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

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(561): A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night http://tfl.nu/8aub

Replies (6) Good night (2891) Bad night (688)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor

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(250): You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor http://tfl.nu/35l1

Replies (2) Good night (1841) Bad night (776)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.

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(616): I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood. http://tfl.nu/i8nf

Replies (9) Good night (4653) Bad night (984)
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(512): View more from Texas

I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.

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(512): I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them. http://tfl.nu/phm4

Replies (21) Good night (474) Bad night (4633)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for

(804): View more from Virginia

Oh my god she just threw up on her dog

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(804): I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for (804): Oh my god she just threw up on her dog http://tfl.nu/gcjh

Replies (6) Good night (875) Bad night (1359)
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(630): View more from Illinois

REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"

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(630): REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl" http://tfl.nu/5hw7

Replies (13) Good night (2573) Bad night (1096)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.

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(515): Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen. http://tfl.nu/hels

Replies (4) Good night (788) Bad night (285)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.

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(+44): Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in. http://tfl.nu/ixni

Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (231)
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(207): View more from Maine

Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.

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(207): Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've. http://tfl.nu/s8ox

Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (272)

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