Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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