He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dating After Heartbreak
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation