You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize