don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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