At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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