where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
it was like his penis was on wheels.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
