Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
