i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
