so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
do nipples grow back?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
